and, well, he said maybe we should stop what we had, because i might just end up getting hurt, because he isnt sure if he likes me; because i was there when he needed someone, or what. But he said that he likes me but he doesnt want me hurt... plus all the social criticism and all that blah
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
This is a dialogue between me and my nephew while we were chatting in facebook, earlier today, while he was at school in ADMU.
We are ten years of age apart, and hearing his quaint revelation (which I had it coming anyway, ever since) made me feel really good inside. It's that same feeling of warmth when someone opens up to you and makes you feel that you are most needed in this world.
This is where it escalated:
Me: So let's just say that person A's the one on the losing end while person B is the one you're very much into now, right?
Nephew: Yes. they're both sweet and the greatest friends I could ever ask for ... but person A ... I didnt feel anything... I mean when i make lambing .. there's nothing ... compared to my old one ... Jessie ... i didnt feel the connection, but with person B ... it's like the same level and i just feel happier.
Me: Ok, but A invested emotions, right?
Nephew: yeah, and i did too, it came naturally for a bit then it disappeared then i tried forcing myself to like person A ... but now its just an effort ... so i decided to stop while with person B ... it's just coming naturally.
Me: So what's person B like? Wait, are they both girls?
Nephew: They're both very very very sweet.
Me: So what do you guys do?
Nephew: Ummm I've something to tell you... Can this be a secret? Like, can you keep it from my mum... Ok, just basically, keep it a secret... I'm Bi.
Me: Well, have you noticed or have had a feeling that I knew about you ever since?
N: Is that why you were asking if both persons involved with me are girls? =))
M: You know the saying: 'takes one to know one'? Yes, I've been asking you those questions to make you feel comfortable about it.
M: Have you noticed I bring my boyfriend around in family gatherings? I do it for you kids so you could have an eye opener that these are normal things.
N: Yeah, but I just hope my mom doesn't find out yet.
M:Your mom and dad went up to me years ago asking about you.
N: Oh. Really? What? I mean... what did they ask?
M: If you were going the other way. Around nine years ago, your mom and dad bumped into me at the Shang mall and asked me to sit with them.
N: I was but ten years old then :|
M: And as we finished with the pleasantries, she asked me if you were going the way I was.
M: And I asked her to ask your dad how he felt about you.
N: So what did dad say?
M: He felt like you do things that most straight guys wouldn't do. So I told your mum that that was answer enough. but the thing is... i never really confirmed with your mother if she'd accept it or not. I never declared it seriously that you would be.
N: Oh well, I still like girls. It's just that I like a guy more now.
M: From where you stand, I stood there too. I had girlfriends. But in the end, I realized I sought affinity with them because of the social norm brought upon my upbringing. My heart won in the end and asked for men.
N: Well yeah.
M: So is your boyfriend cute?
N: He is not my boyfriend. Well not yet anyway.
M: Too bad it wasn't him that you brought to the prom.
M: Does he actually know what's going on between the two of you?
N: Yeah, we actually talked about it before.
M: What was it like?
N: First we agreed that it's nothing serious. That we're just gonna have fun with it cause he just broke up with his girlfriend .. well she broke up with him.
M: Hmm ok, go on...
N: Then I was there to comfort him and things happened. Then after that he asked me: "What are we?"
M: He told you he likes you?
N: Well... the 'thing' wouldn't have happened if he didn't like me.
M: You did it?
N: We did it.
M: So what did you tell him when he asked about you two.
N: I said it's nothing serious and we should just have fun so, like, for a while it was just that. But then I started falling and I forced myself to not like him. Because we agreed but then we talked again a few weeks after that
I listened to every bit of it... He sounds like me when I was 19. He was very anal (hahaha) about issues and thought of every angle possible. But in the end, this kid wants to have fun... and then he falls in love.
Listening to him felt like listening to me ten years ago.
Listening to him reminds me of how simple things made me happy.
Listening to him reminds me to remind him...
To wear a condom.