When I Confide

Today, I witnessed two types of people who technically threw their lives for the simple yet frustrating predicament of 'too much of something'.

One is the more common and easier to notice-- someone I am akin to, who happens to have been loved and spoiled too much, reaps the fruits of his sloth and complacency. Talented, yes. Sterling in his craft? Definitely-- but talented people are a dime a dozen nowadays. He has always been able to keep situations within his comfort zone, even at 30 years of age.

At 30, you should have accomplished enough to support yourself and probably have had enough experience to sharpen your wits to find a partner who supplements your lifestyle in the spirit of fairness and feasibility: this is if you have plowed enough to gather enough experience and common sense.

Sadly, he can't be a brat forever. None of us can be. Life's patience runs thins on those who procrastinate.

Last year, I confided my being positive to him, not only to make him aware that it has really touched home but because it should have been a signal for him to get up, get moving and make the most of his life while he still can.

This day, I confided, once more, to an old friend who technically threw his life away by taking substance in over dose to put himself to rest. Temporary rest, I hope-- he's well on the way to recovery now, but the reason for it was the contradiction of the latter: he was swallowed whole by frustration in his job.

The guy had a big heart and a vision for the medical field and politics has reared it's ugly head within the ranks, rendering his efforts moot and his morale as broken as the columns and pillars of the twin towers during the September 11 attack.

Attacks: it does seem like life assails us when we do awfully too much of something. Life assails us to remind us of who we really are and that everything is not for ours to attain.

To subtly put it, life wakes us up when we begin to lose ourselves.

It woke me up with the virus that slumbers within me and this is the same reason why I confide to some: because I would hope to spare them from learning things the hard way by heeding my experience.

Alas, all may hear but not all may listen.

As children, we were loved and, for a time, were the centerpiece of our parents' and family's love and devotion. They would listen to our every whim and attend to our every need, for as much as possible.

We can't be brats forever and time will come when it is our turn to listen just by stopping and reflecting upon ourselves.

With pain we grow, but we are still the determining factor on which direction we take.

So when I confide to someone, it is of utmost care and concern on my part because I am taking the risk of giving off my position that the other may grow stronger just by listening.

So for those who read this: if you are at the peak of health yet wonder if you are still who you hoped you could be someday: you've got your health, use it well.

And for those who abuse their health to chase after their dreams: the moon's rising reminds us that there is time to pause and rest and let go of things for the moment. Rome was not built in a day so incorporreal ideals may take time and patience as well.

And to all, who are you now? I pray you've not lost yourselves.